Obscenity is in the intent, not the word
For example, have I told you about my cock?
It is a fine cock, very big and very red.
Here is a picture of it, taken by the people at Encyclopedia Britannica:
Rhode Island Red cock
I invite you to visit their site and notice how they have captioned the picture. They use the same text that I did here. They also use it in the URL.
As an educational site, they have recognized that the word "cock" may be offensive in some instances when used with offensive intent, but it is not an inherently offensive word.
Offense is not in the word, but in how the word is applied, and toward what end.
For example, my first two sentences may be argued to edge dangerously close to the edge between pedagogical provocation and intentional offense. However, it is impossible for me to know how offensive I have truly been because offense can be achieved by intent on the part of both the giver and the receiver of the offense. Though I may have no intent to offend you, you may still intend to take offense.
To have a civil society, we need to minimize two things: the intentional giving of offense, and the intentional receiving of it. We need warm hearts with thick skins.
Or as one respondent to the linked thread quoted from the SO FAQ, "Be nice," but also "Bring your sense of humor."
Did the creators of Brainfuck mean some offense to the world when they chose that name? Possibly. But I do not believe we repeat that intent by using the name here. Here, it is merely a signifier, a tool we use to ensure we are talking about the same thing.
If we start censoring our signifiers, that impairs our educational value by making it more difficult to understand what is signified. Meanwhile, we actually add to the aura of offensive power around the word by treating it as offensive when it is being used in the most benign manner it can possibly be used.
I feel no worse using it to signify a programming language than I would asking a random stranger "hand me that fanny pack" and finding out he/she was British.
It is just--to use Brainfuck parlance--a pointer.