The universal solution to any "shortest program" code-golf challenge?
So I see various challenges about writing the shortest program to "find tree depth", "solve trolley problem" etc and the winners are usually highly contrived languages optimized for succinctness (and consequently unreadable). In general the challenges are biased towards more compact languages (hence made-up languages optimised for that), but also higher level languages in which more functionality is embedded into the compiler/environment itself hence doesn't need coding.
OK so since we have allowed ourselves the luxury of using contrived, high-level, custom, compactness-oriented languages, have we not made all such code-golf challenges trivial?
My challenge: "Write the shortest program which identifies [whether or not a code-golf challenge is trivial / answers P=NP / computes Graham's number / etc]"
My optimal solution: "I have invented a language and written a custom compiler for this particular problem which works like this: If the compiler is given an empty file of length 0, then it runs the routine, built-in, which solves the problem and outputs accordingly. Otherwise, if the file has content, then it is sent to a Python compiler."
Hey, the language is Turing complete... and the solution is provably optimal... and it works for any code-golf challenge!